frustrated and broken

here's something i wrote on the geography trip/now/earlier today

not very good considering each time i worked on it (which was like 3 times), it was only for about 5-10 minutes. so deal with it.

and this just goes to show that anyone can write a frickin' song. i'm disappointed in all of you, with one exception. you know who you are.


driving down this dusty old road
the streetlights dimming
nothing but frustration
is driving this rusty old car

when you said love
i thought you meant it
but when your word means nothing
what do i have

thoughts of you
are crawling through my head
like broken glass,
like my broken heart

now i'm sitting here
in this rusty old car
the streetlights dimming
nothing but frustration
is writing this broken down song

walking down this dusty old road
the streetlights dimming
nothing but frustration
is driving this broken heart

when you said love
i thought you meant it
but when love means nothing
what do you have

so i'm sitting here
in my broken little world
the streetlights dimming
nothing but frustration
is writing this broken down song
is writing this broken down song
is writing this broken down song

you know what a fun thing to do is?
writing
it's a great thing
realy
really
it is
so how's about you do me a favor?
write
that
frickin'
song

cause it's getting me..well..not exactly pissed..more
like
frustrated

i just had an idea

yes..I..had an idea..for a game that is..well not really a game. i guess you could call it that if you want.

write your own song. i know some of you have done that before. but write another

then just for fun you can either email it to me, post it on your own blog or comment it. you could also not show anyone..and just keep it to yourself.

but that'd be no fun

happy songing

brent

singing for a broken heart
it just ain't easy to do
blinded by the tears i cry
tears you never knew


that's the first installment

i was..bored..

haha

9/11

we're all walking airplane crashes

in other words..

we're all walking broken hearts

i've been listening to ben lee a lot lately. real good stuff. try it sometime.

just thought i'd let you know that.

"right now im hearing nothing but silence
high beams are on - i can feel you
every piece contains a little bit of violence
and you've changed so much but its still you
no right angles in my life
no right angles in my life"

we're all walking lonely

i called you, monday
so i could meet you, tuesday
but tuesday's dark and dreary
she cries herself to sleep
i don't know what to say
i waited for you, wednesday
you said you'd meet me there
but now i miss you, thursday
why did you have to leave?
i think about you all the time
i'm sorry i cried, friday
but it's what you cannot see
it's all your fault, saturday
it should have been me
i have one thing too tell you
now you must see, sunday
that what she said was true
she loved you dear, with all her heart
i hope you loved her too
i love you


the lights are fading

so long, so long

we're all walking contradictions

hold you in my arms - ray lamontagne
when you came to me with your bad dreams and your fears
it was easy to see that you'd been crying
seems like everywhere you turn catastrophe it reigns
but who really profits from the dying
i could hold you in my arms
i could hold you forever
i could hold you in my arms
i could hold you in my arms forever

when you kissed my lips with my mouth so full of questions
it's my worried mind that you quiet
place your hands on my face
close my eyes and say
love is a poor man's food
don't prophesize
i could hold you in my arms
i could hold you forever
and I could hold you in my arms
i could hold you forever

so now we see how it is
this fist begets the spear
weapons of war
symptoms of madness
don't let your eyes refuse to see
don't let your ears refuse to hear
or you ain't never going to shake this sense of sadness
i could hold you in my arms
i could hold on forever
and I could hold you in my arms
i could hold forever

alright. here's how it goes. one day/night of the weekend. starting with friday. ready, set, sail!

friday night:

went to the mall. needed some things. you know. but i had some very interesting..let's call them witnessings.

i witnessed...
..a soda pop disaster
..a construction breakdown
..a broken bone
..a robbery
..a forgiveness
..a first kiss
..a last goodbye
..a argument
..a breakup
..a breakdown
..a broken heart
..a smile
..a death
..a sunset

came home and played guitar.

saturday day:

did what i do best of course. pretended to be a racecar driver! no really. i did. actually it was more like a zamboni driver. when it's broken down and given a "technical" name, it's known as a lawn manager. i call a grass cutter. so much easier. but after about 78 laps i jumped off and went swimming, "like you do."

saturday night:

this is where my pyro technics come in. short story shorter, had a fire. started that at about six, and i sat out there for six hours (do the math people). but there was something i realized as i sat out there and played my guitar in near total darkness (i was too comfortable to get more fire wood). i realized i came up with some sort of analogy.
not trying to copy you andy
you are the moon. scaring away all the shadows.

crappy. but what the heck.

sunday:

went to church. then had all family over. it was fun. like it usually is. what more can i say? swam almost all day. played a little soccer. ate. did what me and my cousins do best. don't know what that is, but oh well. gave a little taste of british comedy.

now that's where it's at.

that was my weekend. but seeing as the week doesn't end. or isn't ending. i don't know. too tired right now to think.
one last thing. i'm at volleyball camp all week. so i might not be in a mood to talk. not trying to use it as an excuse, but whatever.
"check out please"

he wrote this out of spite. he knows that. he can't deny it. he reads it over, what he has written. he deletes it and starts again, but he knows it's all in vain. he's telling himself a story.

he is so lost. he knows no one understand's him, and he knows that no one cares. he wants to start a new life. he wants to start over. he knows that he's just tired, but he doesn't care. he needs to leave it all behind, and escape to a place in his dreams. he has to leave this town behind and never return.

he's writing and the words just keep coming to him.

he tries to explain it to them. he knows it's all in vain. he knows that no one takes him seriously. especially her. he knows that she is the cause of all the problems. he knows that if he had never met her, things would be better. he can hate her, despise her, and detest her. but he knows that without her, he would not be able to go on. he knows that even though he hates, despises, and detests her, he loves her, admires her, and adores her. he thanks God for her.

he never knew God. he thought he did once. he thinks to himself, that nobody really knows God. he knows that others know and believe He exists. but he doesn't. he's having a hard time. he thinks it's because of the other distractions. but he's not going into detail about that now.

he doesn't give a damn anymore. he's writing these words with a sinical smile on his face. he says, here comes the fun part.

he hates himself for everything he does or doesn't do. wrong or right, he hates it. he knows that everything he writes or says, won't matter to anyone else. he's all alone. he knows the walls are closing in on him. he screams out in pain, knowing that it will do no good.

he finishes writing this story. he hopes that maybe, perhaps, and hopefully you'll take him seriously. he's praying for his own safety.

he is a damn fool.

goodnight.

check it!

yep
this is going to be short

so i'm back from camping. it was good. and fun. yep.

"so i didn't join the army, as you might have noticed" and as you might have noticed, things look a little..different.

so check it out and have some fun!

that's it
yep

so i'm leaving for camping tomorrow morning..so you won't be talking to me for a while

and by you..i mean everyone..


goodbye

love you all..in a friend ish way that is..

i've only got one question for all you out there:

if you had one wish, what would it be?

(choose wisely)

write this down
remember every word
you're not the things they told you way back then
you're so much more than ideas in your head
so bury them
and keep them so they can return when you're alone
so that you can fight them in the end

boy, you know i'm sick and tired of healing all your pain
it's time for you to know the truth and cast your cares away

write this down
remember every word
you're not the things they told you way back then
you're so much more than ideas in your head
so bury them
and keep them so they can return when you're alone
so that you can fight them in the end

boy, you know i'm sick and tired of healing all your pain
it's time for you to know the truth and cast your cares away
and i'm so sorry
it took too long to let you know that
it's alright and it's okay
cause they mean nothing anyway

so you say that you're so alone
well loneliness is all we get
get used to it

boy, you know i'm sick and tired of healing all your pain
it's time for you to know the truth and cast your cares away
and i'm so sorry
it took too long to let you know that
it's alright and it's okay
cause they mean nothing anyway

write this down - cartel

this is a call and not just a song

She fooled all of her friends into thinking she's so strong
But she still sleeps with the light on
And she acts like it's all right on, as she smiles again
And her mother lies there sick with cancer
And her friends don't understand her
She's a question without answers
Who feels like falling apart.
She knows, she's so much more than worthless
She needs to find a purpose,
She wonders what she did to deserve this

She's calling out to you
This is a call, this is a call out
Cause everytime I fall down, I reach out to you
And I'm losing all control now
And my hazard signs are all out
I'm asking you to show me what this life is all about

And he tells everyone a story,
Cause he thinks his life is boring
And he fights so you won't ignore him,
Cause that's his biggest fear
And he cries, but you'll rarely see him do it
And he loves but he's scared to use it
So he hides behind the music
Cause he likes it that way
And he knows, he's so much more than worthless
He needs to find the surface
Cause he's starting to get nervous

He's calling out to you
This is a call, this is a call out
Cause everytime I fall down,
I reach out to you
And I'm losing all control now
And my hazard signs are all out
I'm asking you to show me what this life is all about

Have you ever felt this way before
Cause I don't wanna hide here anymore
Take me to a place where nothing's wrong
And thanks for coming, shut the door
And they say some one out there sees us,
Well if you're real, then save me Jesus
Cause I've been this way for far too long
I wasn't meant to feel alone

He's calling out to you
This is a call, this is a call out
Cause everytime I fall down,
I reach out to you
And I'm losing all control now
And my hazard signs are all out
I'm asking you to show me what this life is all about

Show me what this life is all about
Show me what this life is all about

this is a call - thousand foot krutch
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.....okay........enough.........of.........that.......stop!


"Man, I just saw something. I'm glad that you are here.I got to start to thinking, and seeing things so clear"
skies so blue - the rocket summer

with you
everything is blind
with you
everything is clear
with you
everything is fine
with you
everything is tears

"i am not into the idea of living without you"
around the clock - the rocket summer

why do things have to end this way?

tomorrow

how can i live without you
when i can't even live with you
surely you are a fool
cause love is for the lonely

the sun will rise tomorrow
hopefully tomorrow will be better
walk with me tomorrow
hopefully tomorrow will be better

sins are for sinners
but they're not for you
surely you are a fool
cause lying is for the broken

the sun will rise tomorrow
hopefully tomorrow will be better
walk with me tomorrow
hopefully tomorrow will be better

hope is for the hopeless
but you don't need it
surely you are a fool
cause you live in confusion

the sun will rise tomorrow
hopefully tomorrow will be better
walk with me tomorrow
cause hopefully tomorrow will be better

breathe in
and think for a second
exhale
and imagine
dreams are for dreamers
and you want perfection
it's impossible to stop
thinking's a passion

i'm only thinking of you
and when things are through
i'll only be thinking of you

it's killing you
by the second
hold your breath
don't stop
exhale
life's a confusing thing
but thinking's a passion

i'm only thinking of you
and when things are through
i'll only be thinking of you

looking back

i know
that things
are going downhill
used to be good
going against your will
where did it all go wrong
for me and you
at the top
is where we used to be

suicide's not good enough for me
not it's not good enough for me
pulling the trigger won't do no good
cause you is all i need

i can't
wait for you anymore
i'm sitting here
alone on the floor
i wish i could escape from this
escape to a place in my dreams
where nothing goes wrong
where no one's singing this song

suicide's not good enough for me
not it's not good enough for me
pulling the trigger won't do no good
cause you is all i need
cause you is all i need