UPDATE..sort of

Sooner or later I'll get to a real update. But for now, check it out:

www.myspace.com/brentknibbe

New song: By My Side (Insecurities)


Talk to you all soon!

Brent

I still have no answer.

I've finally reached my breaking point.

Right now I'm coming from somewhere inbetween a rock and hard place. I'm sure you've all heard that expression in your lives before, and if you haven't, well you should feel great about that. When you're stuck between two hard places that, in the end, will come to the same result, you might have a hard time feeling motivated toward either one of those "places".

I've got chills. I'm wearing a t-shirt, sweater, sweatshirt, and a jacket. It's 21 degrees in the house. Yet, I've still got chills. Tell me, HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT WORK!

I'm definitely at my breaking point.

What do you do when society has lost complete faith in you? What do you do when your own integrity and faith doesn't mean a thing? Why do I feel so lost and so insecure? And why the hell am I lying on the floor? Good God. Is God good? I'd like to think that He is, but at this point in my life, I'm not sure whether the situation I've been placed in could be considered good. Lord, I hope you've got a plan for me.

I'm past my breaking point.

I think it was that speed bump I hit at 110km/h while I was getting as far away from here as possible.


Halfway around the world
Lies the one thing that you want
Buried in the ground
Hundred miles down
The first thing that arises in your mind when you awake
Is bending you till you break let me hold you now

Baby close your eyes don't open till the morning light
Baby don't forget we haven't lost at all yet

Don't know what you're made of till the one thing that you want
Is coming with the dawn and suddenly changes
Monday's syndicate means everyone's the same
And all we've lost to the flame listen to me now

Baby close your eyes don't open till the morning light
Don't ever forget we haven't lost at all yet
All we know for sure is all that we are fighting for
Baby don't forget we haven't lost at all yet

Someday when this is over
We may still have no answer
For now is when I hold her
We are closer
We are closer
We are closer
We are closer

Baby close your eyes don't open till the morning light
Don't ever forget we haven't lost at all yet
And though we know for sure is all that we are fighting for
Baby don't forget we haven't lost at all yet

We are closer
We are closer
Now we are closer
We are closer

The Fray - Syndicate

http://www.youtube.com/user/therocketdog00

I always knew it.

Results of your
Attention Deficit Disorder Quiz

You scored a total of 33

You appear to experiencing some type of attention and concentration problems which are often common amongst the general population, but border on the possibility of being more severe. It is unclear as to whether you suffer these problems severely enough to need to seek further diagnosis and treatment of them. You should not take your responses to this self-report questionnaire as a diagnosis or recommendation for treatment of any sort. Consult with a trained mental health professional if you are experiencing difficulties in your daily functioning that you are worried about.

untitled from english at 8 AM

here's a little something i wrote very early in english.
let me know what you think

My eyes are so tired
when we're looking through the fire
I need your touch to survive

'Cause it's you, only you
when I rise with the sun

I'm so far away
yesterday's gone, I'm living today
and you're breath fills me up
and I drink from your cup
so why do I not feel alive?

Sometimes I walk the streets at night
when silence is all on my lips
I think I need you to survive
but I'm not sure it's right this time

'Cause it's you, only you
when I rise with the sun

I'm so far away
yesterday's gone, I'm living today
and you're breath fills me up
and I drink from your cup
so why do I not feel alive?

This time when the sun rises up
when the silence is gone
when I breath my first breath
and when I'm living alone
when time leaves its home
I dream I'll be living for you

'Cause it's you, only you
when I rise with the sun

I'm so far away
yesterday's gone, I'm living today
and you're breath fills me up
and I drink from your cup
so why do I not feel alive?
and why do I not feel alive
Jesus make me feel alive

A Few Words...audio version!

In response to two posts ago.

Enjoy,

Brent

Words.
Contain thoughts.
Contain emotion.
Contain whatever we tell them too.
They are just ourselves speaking to ourselves.
Sometimes poetically.
Sometimes awfully.
Sometimes gramatically incorrect.





Here's a word for you:

Fuck.

Sums everything up in my head.

A Few Words

Our bodies were laid out
they were laid for fifteen yards
in the lawn
and two feet above our heads
was a fly trapped in a jar
in a jar

Well I hadn't noticed
but the people really noticed
that they really didn't want us around
so every single one of us
hit the ground
hit the ground

Is it such a bad thing that I listen to David Archuleta?

No, I don't think it is.

So shut up.

We all need saving

Tonight I started taking things to heart: I started to notice certain qualities about people that bothered me, and I started to notice certain qualities about myself that bothered me.

And that bothered me.

So what do I do? I come here, because well, when there's nobody else around you/and you're left out in cold/you get lost in every emotion/and relive everything that you've done wrong.

It always comes out lyrically. Why do I always come out lyrically?

At Cavanaugh Park
where I used to sit
all alone in the dark
and dream about things
that I cannot say
you always said destiny would blow me away
and nothing's gonna blow me away

- Cavanaugh Park by Something Corporate

Okay, so I'll be honest. I haven't connected with anyone ever since coming to university. We have devotions once a week, and I must say, I dread them every week. It's when we sit down on those couches downstairs and everyone starts talking about their week and things going on in their lives, I feel something's missing. I feel disconnected from everyone around me. Why? Now that's something I really wish I could answer.

Alright, let's end it with something new/unfinished. I mean, what kind of a post would this be without some new words. So here you go.

And she said, said to me
I've got these insecurities
that I can't seem to please
And I, I can't decide
whether I should run or hide
Can you draw me a line?
Can you draw me a line?

'Cause in my life I find
that these lies I try to hide behind
always rise to the sky
and when I'm left here staring blind
will you be by my side?
will you be by my side?

And there's times I believe
that I should fall right down,
right down to my knees
And your soft spoken air
doesn't nearly compare
to the sadness I see in your stare

'Cause in my life I find
that these lies I try to hide behind
always rise to the sky
and when I'm left here staring blind
will you be by my side?
will you be by my side?


P.s. Do you see pictures in my words?

It always come back to you.

And again?

Who remembers that?

I laughed when it came up in my picture slideshow on my desktop.

Sorry to bother you all.

Unreliable (without extras) and something new

Here's something to listen to:



The "without extras" refers to extra instruments I took out because I realized that the timing was a little off. So I have to fix that.

Anyways, let me know what's going on with you guys.

Hope you like everything new here.

Signed,
Brent

Meet me down behind our old school

These clicking machines
they don't mean anything to me
'cause I'm the one who needs me to please her
when she's so fucking high

And no I don't mind
but I'd rather you die
so I'm stepping away from the edge
this mind's not made for drowning

So if I could fly into my dreams
and find the truth in the world around me
well then I would finally figure out
in what I believe


..this is what happens at night..

be back soon,

stickier than water

Welcome to the Carnival

I met you at the carnival
there were lights strewn about
all the children laughing
made us dance under the diamonds

Way up in the sky
they left a blinding reflection
of your beautiful face
in my eyes
in my eyes

I don't know who to turn to
and I don't know where to run
but I know when things concern you
that I will pull on through
and I will pull on through

We rode the ferris wheel
deep into the night
we sat on the top of the world
we were so damn high

And our dreams, they were captured
in the blazing ring of fire
as we sat on top of the world
and we stood on top of the world

But I don't know who to turn to
and I don't know where to run
but I know when things concern you
that I will pull on through
and I will pull on through

[I wanted to write something simple, and this came out in two nights. I guess it's mostly completed, and I am happy with out it turned out. Maybe it'll get some tuning when I actually care more.]

Side note:
I've been trying to read the Bible more lately, but every time I pick it up and start opening it, I get this feeling of failure. I can't even get to the point of opening the damn thing before I realize what a shitty excuse for a Christian I actually am. Maybe somebody up there is trying to tell me something.

Side side note:
I'm doing it for you, not me. It's one of those occasions where one person gives up their time and enjoyments for the enjoyment of the other person.
So yeah, it's all for you.

Welcome to my mindset from the past week,

The Carnival

Jack's Mannequin - The Glass Passenger

Teaser Video:

Trackist:

1. Crashin'
2. Spinning
3. Swim
4. American Love
5. What Gets You Off
6. Suicide Blonde
7. Annie Use Your Telescope
8. Bloodshot Eyes
9. Hammers and Strings (A Lullaby)
10. Drop Out - The So Unknown
11. Orphans
12. The Resolution
13. Caves

Acoustic Versions:

1. Swim
2. American Love

Release Date: September 30th, 2008

Summer Update #1

The shadows
of those silohouetted trees
well they haunt me through the night
and the fainted glow
of that silver light
well it shines back at me
and your blue eyes
they stare right through me
they're making me bleed

and I, I don't know what to do
when I look at you
let go
'cause I've been here many times before
('cause maybe if I've felt it once)
well then I could somehow feel it again

[just the first verse and chorus of something new I've been working on - thought I'd share it with you]


Just a little quick note:
I went to Redeemer to pick courses today - here's what I "ended" up with (you can change them later of course):

Semester 1:
PED-118 [Anatomy and Physiology I]
HIS-105 [Development of Western Civilization]
ENG-103 [Intro. to Lit. - Fiction]
BUS-121 [Intro. to Buisness]
PHY-115 [Physics for the Life Sciences]

Not particularly excited for the Physics, but I'll probably switch in anyways.

Semester 2:
PED-218 [Anatomy and Physiology II]
REL-101 [Biblical Theology]
HIS-107 [The History of Eastern Europe]
PSY-122 [Intro. to Psychology - General and Experimental]
ENV-101 [Intro. to Environmental Science]

So that is how my life will be unfolding over the next year. Or rather, probably unfolding.

You never know what could happen.

Music

www.myspace.com/sanspulprecords

Thanks,

Brent

music videos? [re-posted]

http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=7086354203630111244

http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=-581736833354884044

http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=5297693777322958569

Check 'em out!


edit//
i thought i would put these back up here. i found them and i haven't watched them in a while
so here you go!

God is nowhere/God is now here.

I started having doubts tonight.

Of course, I always have doubts. We all always have doubts, but most of the time we supress them and forget about them.

They always say you should never repress your emotions.

I just mixed up "supress" and repress". Wait, are those the same? I'm not really sure and coincidentally, I don't really care.

I'm supposed to care now, about everything.

And I can't say I don't not care. I just used a double negative, now when was the last time that happened to me. Oh right, I remember. One year ago five days from now. Or was it six?

That brings me back to doubt. It's funny how everything works in a cycle. Funny in a not so funny way. God, right now is probably/most likely/definitely the one time I wish we didn't have any dandelions. They hurt my head.

What's the difference between dandelions and roses?

They both live, die, and are reborn. A cycle. I just got a picture of a red bicycle with it's paint melting off. Weird. Roses have thorns, but dandelions leave your fingers looking ______. Also, roses are used in every tragedy. And if there's one thing I've learned about life, it's that tragedy is too flattering.

Dandelions aren't flattering.

Always asking a question
And I don't want to know
Like the wind across strings
That had finally let go
And the people you love
But you didn't quite know
They're the places that you wanted to go

Oh, it should've been, could've been worse
Than you would ever know
Well, you told me about nowhere,
Well it sounds like someplace I'd like to go

Oh, it could've been, should've been
Worse than you would ever know
Well, the windshield was broken,
But I love the fresh air y'know

It was not the intention
But we let it all go
Well it messed up the function
And sure fucked up the flow
I hardly have people that I needed to know
'Cause you're the people that I wanted to know