so you think that a little information would be nice, and yes i'd hope it would be nice. but in the case where information can change the way that something happens, unless that thing was not meant to be changed in any way. but in this case it was.

so here's to the one's i love
so here's to the one's who never knew
so here's to the one's who don't even care


no im not on vacation...yet


you'd think a two hour change wouldn't have made the difference...

well guess what...it can't anymore

i think maybe with me, you'd be better, not better off..



so here's to the one i love


goodbye

being sick is one of the worst things in the world..and im not just talking about the physically sick...

ya..some of you know what im talking about..

but really...why?



dearest you:

talk to me please


(delayed reaction)



wow

When I Go Down - Relient K

I'll tell you flat out
It hurts so much to think of this
So from my thoughts I will exclude
The very thing that
I hate more than everything is
The way I'm powerless
To dictate my own moods

I've thrown away
So many things that could've been much more
And I just pray
My problems go away if they're ignored
But that's not the way it works
No that's not the way it works

When I go down
I go down hard
And I take everything I've learned
And teach myself some disregaurd
When I go down
It hurts to hit the bottom
And of the things that got me there
I think, if only I had fought them

If and when I can
Clear myself of this clouded mind
I'll watch myself settle down
Into a place where
Peace can search me out and find
That I'm so ready to be found

I've thrown away
The hope I had in friendships
I've thrown away
So many things that could have been much more
I've thrown away
The secret to find the end to this
And I just pray
My problems go away if they're ignored
But that's not the way it works
No that's not that way it works

When I go down
I go down hard
And I take everything I've learned
And teach myself some disregaurd
When I go down
It hurts to hit the bottom
And of the things that got me there
I think, if only I had fought them

Any control I thought I had just slipped through my hands
While my ever-present conscience shakes its head and reprimands me Reprimands me
Then and there I confess
I'll blame all this on my selfishness
Yet You love me
And that consumes me
And I'll stand up again
And do so willingly

You give me hope, and hope it gives me life
You touch my heavy heart, and when you do You make it light
As I exhale I hear Your voice
And I answer You, though I hardly make a noise
And from my lips the words I choose to say
Seem pathetic, but it's a fallen man's praise
Cause I love You
Oh God, I love You

And life is now worth living
If only because of You
And when they say that I am dead and gone
It won't be further from the truth

When I go down
I lift my eyes to You
I won't look very far
Cause You'll be there
With open arms
To lift me up again
To lift me up again

i think i can relate

so i'm talking to justin, and what i'm realizing is that all it is, is a popularity contest. as she passed me in the hall and said "hi justin", i knew that she didn't know me, or did anyone else, or will they ever.

it's just funny. it's like one of those movies where someone who's a nobody dies, and no one gives a damn, but then someone dies who is higher up in society, and everyone rushes to the aid of the family and tries to help in any way they can.

so i just laugh to those people, have fun, and don't screw up..



on a higher note, oh wait, there is no higher note. things are quiet all in my life, well not really. we're out of the omha's, so we go down to the regionals, joy. basketball is almost over (hallejuiah).

"cause who i am hates who i've been", way to go andy, get me hooked back on this freaking band.

so i've been thinking, and once again, im feeling a lot of guilt. now im not thinking that all of it is my fault, but then again it could be, who knows. but for now im just gonna try, and see how things work out. i mean there's really nothing that i can do, well maybe there is. we'll all see in time.

a wise person once told me that time was a weird thing, and i can't help agree, because right now, time sucks, and i hope that it stops and i will never have to worry about it again.

well that's all for now, from me, the great blue guy. or as justin puts, the "emo" color.

oops forgot the "u"..

oh and tara, everything's just peachy



the twisted candy

alright, so everything's not okay. first i thought it was, but recent "problems" have made me make a drastic decision. if only i could tell you what i'm really feeling, or what i want to say, but everytime i get so close, you seem so far away.

poetry..joy..

here lies the great pumpkin, who rises every halloween to give candy to every little boy and girl who happens to pass him in the great pumpkin patch.

but for now i think i'll stick to the basics, thank you and goodnight..

all i know is that something must be better.