http://www.youtube.com/user/therocketdog00

I always knew it.

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untitled from english at 8 AM

here's a little something i wrote very early in english.
let me know what you think

My eyes are so tired
when we're looking through the fire
I need your touch to survive

'Cause it's you, only you
when I rise with the sun

I'm so far away
yesterday's gone, I'm living today
and you're breath fills me up
and I drink from your cup
so why do I not feel alive?

Sometimes I walk the streets at night
when silence is all on my lips
I think I need you to survive
but I'm not sure it's right this time

'Cause it's you, only you
when I rise with the sun

I'm so far away
yesterday's gone, I'm living today
and you're breath fills me up
and I drink from your cup
so why do I not feel alive?

This time when the sun rises up
when the silence is gone
when I breath my first breath
and when I'm living alone
when time leaves its home
I dream I'll be living for you

'Cause it's you, only you
when I rise with the sun

I'm so far away
yesterday's gone, I'm living today
and you're breath fills me up
and I drink from your cup
so why do I not feel alive?
and why do I not feel alive
Jesus make me feel alive

A Few Words...audio version!

In response to two posts ago.

Enjoy,

Brent

Words.
Contain thoughts.
Contain emotion.
Contain whatever we tell them too.
They are just ourselves speaking to ourselves.
Sometimes poetically.
Sometimes awfully.
Sometimes gramatically incorrect.





Here's a word for you:

Fuck.

Sums everything up in my head.

A Few Words

Our bodies were laid out
they were laid for fifteen yards
in the lawn
and two feet above our heads
was a fly trapped in a jar
in a jar

Well I hadn't noticed
but the people really noticed
that they really didn't want us around
so every single one of us
hit the ground
hit the ground

Is it such a bad thing that I listen to David Archuleta?

No, I don't think it is.

So shut up.

We all need saving

Tonight I started taking things to heart: I started to notice certain qualities about people that bothered me, and I started to notice certain qualities about myself that bothered me.

And that bothered me.

So what do I do? I come here, because well, when there's nobody else around you/and you're left out in cold/you get lost in every emotion/and relive everything that you've done wrong.

It always comes out lyrically. Why do I always come out lyrically?

At Cavanaugh Park
where I used to sit
all alone in the dark
and dream about things
that I cannot say
you always said destiny would blow me away
and nothing's gonna blow me away

- Cavanaugh Park by Something Corporate

Okay, so I'll be honest. I haven't connected with anyone ever since coming to university. We have devotions once a week, and I must say, I dread them every week. It's when we sit down on those couches downstairs and everyone starts talking about their week and things going on in their lives, I feel something's missing. I feel disconnected from everyone around me. Why? Now that's something I really wish I could answer.

Alright, let's end it with something new/unfinished. I mean, what kind of a post would this be without some new words. So here you go.

And she said, said to me
I've got these insecurities
that I can't seem to please
And I, I can't decide
whether I should run or hide
Can you draw me a line?
Can you draw me a line?

'Cause in my life I find
that these lies I try to hide behind
always rise to the sky
and when I'm left here staring blind
will you be by my side?
will you be by my side?

And there's times I believe
that I should fall right down,
right down to my knees
And your soft spoken air
doesn't nearly compare
to the sadness I see in your stare

'Cause in my life I find
that these lies I try to hide behind
always rise to the sky
and when I'm left here staring blind
will you be by my side?
will you be by my side?


P.s. Do you see pictures in my words?

It always come back to you.

And again?

Who remembers that?

I laughed when it came up in my picture slideshow on my desktop.

Sorry to bother you all.

Unreliable (without extras) and something new

Here's something to listen to:



The "without extras" refers to extra instruments I took out because I realized that the timing was a little off. So I have to fix that.

Anyways, let me know what's going on with you guys.

Hope you like everything new here.

Signed,
Brent

Meet me down behind our old school

These clicking machines
they don't mean anything to me
'cause I'm the one who needs me to please her
when she's so fucking high

And no I don't mind
but I'd rather you die
so I'm stepping away from the edge
this mind's not made for drowning

So if I could fly into my dreams
and find the truth in the world around me
well then I would finally figure out
in what I believe


..this is what happens at night..

be back soon,

stickier than water

Welcome to the Carnival

I met you at the carnival
there were lights strewn about
all the children laughing
made us dance under the diamonds

Way up in the sky
they left a blinding reflection
of your beautiful face
in my eyes
in my eyes

I don't know who to turn to
and I don't know where to run
but I know when things concern you
that I will pull on through
and I will pull on through

We rode the ferris wheel
deep into the night
we sat on the top of the world
we were so damn high

And our dreams, they were captured
in the blazing ring of fire
as we sat on top of the world
and we stood on top of the world

But I don't know who to turn to
and I don't know where to run
but I know when things concern you
that I will pull on through
and I will pull on through

[I wanted to write something simple, and this came out in two nights. I guess it's mostly completed, and I am happy with out it turned out. Maybe it'll get some tuning when I actually care more.]

Side note:
I've been trying to read the Bible more lately, but every time I pick it up and start opening it, I get this feeling of failure. I can't even get to the point of opening the damn thing before I realize what a shitty excuse for a Christian I actually am. Maybe somebody up there is trying to tell me something.

Side side note:
I'm doing it for you, not me. It's one of those occasions where one person gives up their time and enjoyments for the enjoyment of the other person.
So yeah, it's all for you.

Welcome to my mindset from the past week,

The Carnival

Jack's Mannequin - The Glass Passenger

Teaser Video:

Trackist:

1. Crashin'
2. Spinning
3. Swim
4. American Love
5. What Gets You Off
6. Suicide Blonde
7. Annie Use Your Telescope
8. Bloodshot Eyes
9. Hammers and Strings (A Lullaby)
10. Drop Out - The So Unknown
11. Orphans
12. The Resolution
13. Caves

Acoustic Versions:

1. Swim
2. American Love

Release Date: September 30th, 2008

Summer Update #1

The shadows
of those silohouetted trees
well they haunt me through the night
and the fainted glow
of that silver light
well it shines back at me
and your blue eyes
they stare right through me
they're making me bleed

and I, I don't know what to do
when I look at you
let go
'cause I've been here many times before
('cause maybe if I've felt it once)
well then I could somehow feel it again

[just the first verse and chorus of something new I've been working on - thought I'd share it with you]


Just a little quick note:
I went to Redeemer to pick courses today - here's what I "ended" up with (you can change them later of course):

Semester 1:
PED-118 [Anatomy and Physiology I]
HIS-105 [Development of Western Civilization]
ENG-103 [Intro. to Lit. - Fiction]
BUS-121 [Intro. to Buisness]
PHY-115 [Physics for the Life Sciences]

Not particularly excited for the Physics, but I'll probably switch in anyways.

Semester 2:
PED-218 [Anatomy and Physiology II]
REL-101 [Biblical Theology]
HIS-107 [The History of Eastern Europe]
PSY-122 [Intro. to Psychology - General and Experimental]
ENV-101 [Intro. to Environmental Science]

So that is how my life will be unfolding over the next year. Or rather, probably unfolding.

You never know what could happen.

Music

www.myspace.com/sanspulprecords

Thanks,

Brent

music videos? [re-posted]

http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=7086354203630111244

http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=-581736833354884044

http://video.google.ca/videoplay?docid=5297693777322958569

Check 'em out!


edit//
i thought i would put these back up here. i found them and i haven't watched them in a while
so here you go!

God is nowhere/God is now here.

I started having doubts tonight.

Of course, I always have doubts. We all always have doubts, but most of the time we supress them and forget about them.

They always say you should never repress your emotions.

I just mixed up "supress" and repress". Wait, are those the same? I'm not really sure and coincidentally, I don't really care.

I'm supposed to care now, about everything.

And I can't say I don't not care. I just used a double negative, now when was the last time that happened to me. Oh right, I remember. One year ago five days from now. Or was it six?

That brings me back to doubt. It's funny how everything works in a cycle. Funny in a not so funny way. God, right now is probably/most likely/definitely the one time I wish we didn't have any dandelions. They hurt my head.

What's the difference between dandelions and roses?

They both live, die, and are reborn. A cycle. I just got a picture of a red bicycle with it's paint melting off. Weird. Roses have thorns, but dandelions leave your fingers looking ______. Also, roses are used in every tragedy. And if there's one thing I've learned about life, it's that tragedy is too flattering.

Dandelions aren't flattering.

Always asking a question
And I don't want to know
Like the wind across strings
That had finally let go
And the people you love
But you didn't quite know
They're the places that you wanted to go

Oh, it should've been, could've been worse
Than you would ever know
Well, you told me about nowhere,
Well it sounds like someplace I'd like to go

Oh, it could've been, should've been
Worse than you would ever know
Well, the windshield was broken,
But I love the fresh air y'know

It was not the intention
But we let it all go
Well it messed up the function
And sure fucked up the flow
I hardly have people that I needed to know
'Cause you're the people that I wanted to know

Sometimes I think I have super powers, but then I realize I'm just another unsuccessful supervillain

Today I decided to start taking my future seriously

I don't need a piece of paper to remind me I'm a failure

Breaking

I get the feeling
like I've never done enough
'cause it's give and take
and now it's too late

I quit believing in miracles
for you're not an angel
I'm not okay
No, I'm not okay

'Cause I'm gonna break
right down before you
and I'm gonna break
'cause I don't know what to do
so I'm gonna break

What good is seeing
if you've seen too much
I won't wake
I won't wake
No, I won't wake

'Cause I'm gonna break
right down before you
and I'm gonna break
'cause I don't know what to do
so I'm gonna break

I'm leaving, given up for you
I'm wasting, is it good for you?
I'm fucking close to breaking
and I don't know what to do...
so I think I'm gonna break

Right down before you
and I'm gonna break
'cause I don't know what to do
so I'm gonna break

A short prose.

Hi!

Remember me? No? I didn't think so.
I think I'm beating myself up over things that I ought to be leaving alone.

You came to me in the rain
your brown hair covering your face
I couldn't tell that you'd been crying
but your mascara had left me a trace

Come on, come on, come on, come on
I'm making a list of things I could've seen
nobody's gonna be there for you in the end
just turn away from what could've been

I just can't leave it alone
I just can't leave it alone
I just can't leave it alone
I just can't leave it alone

You're okay, you're okay
you're okay, you're okay
you're okay, are you okay?


I think my head just exploded. Hold on, let me check. Yep.
You've left me with a hole in my head.
Are you okay?

untitled

Sky bright and blue
blue fades to red
there’s sand beneath your toes now
waves crashin’ through your head

We’re running through the rain babe
staring at the stars
dreaming of this moment
this moment that’s all ours

Hey we’re all living for nothing
it’s hard to love when you’re standing on your own
can’t love when you’re hurting
can’t hurt when you have no one to love

You’re standing on the pier babe
looking to the sea
scanning the horizons
are you looking for me?

We’re walking down the beach
on this boulevard of dreams
there’s no one to save us
there’s only you and me

Hey we’re all living for nothing
it’s hard to love when you’re standing on your own
can’t love when you’re hurting
can’t hurt when you have no one to love

Don’t Come Here Looking For Answers When You Know You’ll Be Left Looking For More

You came home late tonight
I waited for you on the doorstep
You were standing there wet from the rain
I thought you said you were leaving

So what are you trying to say?
Standing cold in the porch light
Are you looking for answers?
Or seeking forgiveness, or maybe escape?

Darling, it’s too late for us now
We’re glass, both made of glass
And we’re both moving too fast
See through and brittle
We are broken in two

Can’t you see where we were before?
Where we left all our love on the floor
Someday you’ll have your questions answered
But don’t come here when you’re left all alone

Darling, it’s too late for us now
We’re glass, both made of glass
And we’re both moving too fast
See through and brittle
We are broken in two

So what are you trying to say?
Standing cold in the porch light
Are you looking for answers?
Or seeking forgiveness, or maybe escape?

Sweet and Low - Augustana (New Song!)

Sweet and Low - Video
http://www.blender.com/Augustanasweetandlow/video/11175.aspx?src=BB3839:MD

Augustana Site
www.myspace.com/augustana

Jack's Mannequin

The Mixed Tape - Acoustic
Where Music Meets Film feat. Jack's Mannequin

Add to My Profile More Videos

Dark Blue - Acoustic


Suicide Blonde - New song


The first verse of "Caves" - New song

An epiphany.

So.

Disappointment=me
Disappointed=me

I'm just sitting here staring at the screen, wondering what I'm actually trying to say. I guess I'm just starting to realize things that have been knocking at the door for a while. Bad analogies are getting there.

I disappoint people=you. Did you know that? Ha, I just had a weird thought. The worst is that I disappoint you=everyone.

Losing time, missing out, forgetting thought.

That's where I'm at right now. Oh, one more thing.
Hateful=me
Hatred=I'm not going there.


Fly, I have tried to fly
To leave it all behind
You, you could heal my wounds
I have tried to leave it all behind, to leave it
Fairweather - The Send

Dear Jack (new trailer)

under construction

I think I need something new.

P.s.
If you didn't get this before:
www.purevolume.com/brentknibbe

Words.

So. I have no idea where I'm going to go with this. But I know it's going to be one of those things that people could get mad at me for. Well, maybe not mad. But you know, question.

I don't fucking care.

Maybe I've been living, acting, thinking, a little to carelessly. Maybe it's because I don't worry enough. Maybe it's because I worry too much. Maybe I keep things bottled up. Maybe that's because I'm scared of feeling vulnerable. Maybe I open up to the wrong people. Maybe it's because I'm overtired when it happens. Mabye I'm someone who rushes things. Maybe that's because I don't want to lose. Maybe I'm a liar. Maybe it's because it's easy. Maybe because I'm good at it. Maybe it's because I'm scared of the truth. Maybe I'm a hypocrite. Maybe that's because I am. Maybe I'm not trustworthy. Maybe that's because I lie. Maybe I'm not a good friend. Maybe because I'm a fucking jerk. Maybe I need to learn when to keep my mouth shut. Maybe that's because I tend to say what's on my mind. Maybe it's because that's not true. Maybe I'm girly. Maybe that's because I am. Maybe I like to reminisce. Maybe that's because I hate losing memories. Maybe that's because sometimes that's all I have. Maybe I've lost close friends. Maybe that's because I'm scared to show who I really am. Maybe that's because I don't know who I really am. Maybe I'm starting to lose it. Maybe "it" refers to many things. Maybe "it" refers to stress. Maybe "it" refers to anger. Maybe "it" refers to friendships. Maybe I don't have anything to say. Maybe that's because I don't have an opinion to share. Maybe I hate myself. Maybe I'm at a loss for words. Maybe I don't know what to do anymore. Maybe that's because I can't think straight. Maybe that's because I don't know how to think. Maybe I hate seeing myself fail. Maybe that's because I'm scared of failure. Maybe I hate seeing others fail. Maybe I've found my future already. Maybe I don't know what my future is. Maybe I hate my future. Maybe that's because there's so many uncertainties. Maybe I doubt myself. Maybe that's because I do. Maybe I should hold my emotions in check. Maybe that's because I tend to lash out too much. Maybe I lash out at the wrong people. Maybe it's because I don't want to hurt the people close to me. Maybe I need to take more interest in my friend's lives. Maybe it's because they do the same for me. Maybe I fake laugh too much. Maybe that's because I hate showing people my true feelings. Maybe I should stop being so defensive. Maybe I need to let my walls down and let someone in. Maybe I love. Maybe I don't know what that means. Maybe my words are hollow. Maybe that's because they are. Maybe I like to do things on my own. Maybe I don't anything in common with anyone around me. Maybe the only things I have in common aren't "good". Maybe I'm already living for the next holiday. Maybe it's because then I can forget everything. Maybe I have regrets. Maybe I didn't think I'd ever be able to hold together a relationship. Maybe I'm waiting for a sign. Maybe it's because I don't know what I really feel. Maybe I need a safe place. Maybe it's because I'm scared, not of what's out there, but of what's in here. Maybe I'm scared of making decisions. Maybe it's because I don't want to make the wrong one. Maybe I need to learn patience. Maybe I should stop getting my hopes up. Maybe it's because every time I do, I get let down. Maybe I want to live in someone else's shoes. Maybe it's because I want to feel differently. Maybe there is no solution.

To pull one thing out:
Maybe I doubt myself.
What do you do when you doubt yourself? Do you doubt yourself?
I doubt a lot of things. Do I doubt you? No, I can't say that I do.

Do you doubt me?



With your eyes closed watching a strange show play out in your head
But you were smiling somehow
And your day froze and everyone in it sat still as a rose
But we were moving somehow

Back to when we started, losing who we were
Maybe we should only tip a bottle back to keep us filled up
Back to when we started, losing who we were
Everybody knows that you'd break your neck to keep your chin up

Open your eyes and the drops come in a snail race down to your neck
And look up but you were smiling somewhere

Back to when we started, losing who we were
Maybe we should only tip a bottle back to keep us filled up
Back to when we started losing who we were
Everybody knows that you'd break your neck to keep your chin up

Chin Up - Copeland

Hi.

If ever you're bored:
www.purevolume.com/brentknibbe

Bye.