it's been a long time. yes it has. every time i try to do this, i get halfway and then erase the whole thing. don't ask me why. it's obviously for some reason i don't know. yah, it's that obvious. so i just thought i'd do this just to let all you know what's been going on in my part of life in the last little while.
well i've been busy. not that busy busy where i have so much to do, but that busy where i have stuff to do, but put it off till the last second so to make myself really busy. it's like right now, i should be working on some project or paper that will "help me later on", as my parents would put it. but i'm not going to get into that right now. i'll just give you a list of things that has happened in my life as of late ('cause we all know you love lists).
i have:
- been writing
- been not sleeping (for all who don't know, and i'm sure that's a lot of you, i've been suffering from a mild insomnia for the past two months)
- been in love
- been broken hearted
- been sick
- been tired
- been energized
- been touched
- been in my dreams
- been singing
- been playing guitar
- been watching movies
- been at sleep overs
- been staying up way too late
- been talking
- been talking to myself
- been swinging
- been partying
- been trying to quit msn
- been listening to music a lot
- been listening to new bands
- been trying to figure out a way to record myself
- been trying to play the piano
- been hating school
- been loving school
- been hating people
- been loving people
- been so far down, that's there's no possible way to get back up
- been reading past writings
- been reading other people's past writings
- been wanting to get away
- been avoiding situations
- been running away from emotions
- been not myself
here's a song:
another day and a whole new story
these past few weeks have been just a daze
i think i might have just closed my eyes
i've only got a few centuries to make a dent in the world
i’ve only got a small amount of time
i cant keep throwing every second i’ve got down the wishing well
in the hope that luck will find me
seek out this mediocre misery
just take my hand and bring me around
there is more to this life than just following the tide
don’t hold out beneath the linen this time
the emergency buttons aren’t just an escape
a serenade for the artist among us
who never had to face the consequence
i don’t want to be another sad excuse
couldn’t spend another night all alone
wishing that i could have done things differently
living for the moment seems to be so insecure
defined by character, we aren’t that much different anymore
the safest way around the assault course before us
like everyone else looking for another way out
but not so easy as to just walk around
it’s all about taking this head on
matter over mind for once
i'll make sure i’m standing strong tonight
brace myself for everything life can throw at me this time
now where were we. i could start with a lot of things, or maybe i won't start with anything at all. but what's the point of writing something long, without having a meaning?
so i'll ask you a question:
do you believe in absolute truth?
now here's a proverb for you:
A snowball stands no chance in hell
But this is Earth
how's about analogies..do you go for those?
you are my drug
and i am in withdrawl
(i know, i've used that one before)
this post has been a little different than what you're all used to. it's more the "so obvious that it hurts" kind of post. i guess it's cause i'm sick and tired of trying to explain myself. it gets annoying when nobody gets you, or gets what's going on. it's also kind of funny when people pretend they think they know what's going on. 'cause you sit there, nod your head and smile, just thinking to yourself "i don't know why they do this".
how's about a song by Sherwood. it's called What Lucy Found There:
all the leaves upon this tree
are forming words and pointing them at me
could it be a kind of sign
informing me that i've been out of line?
all the pages in this book
are giving me and interesting look
can they see beneath my eyes?
and if they could, i wonder what they'd find
and i won't feel alone tonite
'cause i can see the candle burning bright
and the shadows and the light
will keep my company tonight
it's a good song, you should listen to it...
yes, i think you should.
i find it funny how people can say things like, "oh don't worry about it. i know exactly how you are feeling." it's things like that just piss me off enough to do something. how can they know exactly how you are feeling when they aren't you. there's only two possible reasons that i can figure out how they would know exactly what i am thinking or feeling:
1. They can read minds - now i know that in reality this is impossible. The only way that they would be able to read minds would be if they had some sort of super power. The only person who i can think of that can read minds would be Professor Charles Xavier from the X-Men series. Okay, so he can read minds, but he's not a part of true reality.
2. They are God - and we all know that you're not. So stop pretending. Only God can read minds, me made us in his image, so it's only natural that he knows what we are thinking and feeling.
i finally got my JVIS test back, and i must say that i'm pleased with my results (but also somewhat surprised).
top 3 basic interest's:
1. Author-Journalism (93%)
2. Performing Arts (93%)
3. Nature-Agriculture (92%)
top 2 occupational themes:
1. Expressive (93%)
2. Practical (79%)
academic satisfaction:
486 (46%)
similarity to college students:
1. health, physical education and recreation (+0.56 similar)
2. environmental resource management (+0.44 similar)
3. performing arts (+0.40 similar)
similarity to job groups:
1. occupations in entertainment (+0.59 similar)
2. occupations in music (+0.54 similar)
3. occupations in fine art (+0.49 similar)
so there you have it. my jvis made me actually look at what i wanted to do, and i think i've changed my mind. i don't know if that's good or bad, can't really tell.
now i'm going to rant a bit.
why do we ask questions to which we already know the answer? because there has to be a reason for everything. reason controls our world. but reason does not come solely by itself. there are obvious strings attatched, because with reason comes truth. and reason and truth do not stand alone. if you have reason and truth, you must have trust. trust is the main element, it is the controller. reason and truth can only come through trust, and without trust, reason and truth cannot exist. it's unexplainable. i guess you could say that trust is an "unofficial" emotion. there are many different emotions, all of which are things you cannot deny, things you must accept. but trust is something that you must learn, it doesn't just come to you. you need to believe in trust to have trust.
i guess it's a matter of personal opinion. so here's where i leave you. i've given you my trust, now it's up to you to trust my trust, and give me that trust back.
(it all makes sense in my mind)
so i guess that pretty much wraps up this post. my life has been different lately, i guess i've changed.
please tell me if it's for better or for worse
sound,
brent
