Don't want to lose it all (part 2).

i was going to wait a few posts before actually finishing this. but i think that now would be the best time for me. i don't think i've had it in a long time where i've spent so much time writing a blog post, and reflecting on things. it's just something that can't be ignored.



Oh, it's that time
It's that time again
Oh, it's all coming back around
There she sees me
Oh my god, this is who I've been
And I'm branded each day.

Go on and lose it
Go on and lose it all
Go on and lose it
(Go, go, go)
Go on and lose it all
Go on and lose it
Go on and lose it all
Go on and lose it
Go on and lose it all

Immediately we find out then
That I can be blamed for this
But then it just figured out today
And you're so sweet, you say
Go now and get your own life, and live it your way
And I hear you say

Go on and lose it
Go on and lose it all
Go on and lose it
(Go, go, go)
Go on and lose it all
Go on and lose it
Go on and lose it all
Go on and lose it
Go on and lose it all

Hey, hey, hey,
Woaahhh,
Hey, hey, hey

Well, and if we find another, then we will get ours
And if we find another, then we will get ours

She's pickin' up her clothes, she's off and she's running
She says to me
Go on and lose it
I think she means well, but man I can't tell you
She says to me
Go on and lose it all
Go on and lose it all
Go on and lose it all
Go on and lose it all
Go on and lose it all


Lose It - Cartel




sometimes the same is different, but mostly it's the same
these mysteries of life, that just ain't my thing

when planes land, heads spin
gets me thinking
'cause no one's watching
and i just fell in

and then i had a mind blank
and then my mind went

sometimes i just wish that i could be in someone else's shoes. but then when i get thinking about it, i just realize that all i ever wanted was right there in front of me all along.

i think something i've realized recently, is that you never know how good or bad things may be, until you actually talk about it. i look around at all the relationships and i wonder to myself why can't i have that? why am i the one, who at the end of the day, is left walking home alone? i can't help but believe in the fact that when the day ends, i feel this way.


and then things changed
my new least favorite time:
5:09 PM
and then things went bad


do you ever get in a situation that you can't get out of?
do you ever get the feeling that things are going to be okay, and that they'll work out for you one moment, and then the next, feel totally let down?

and that's what happened
and that's what fucking happened

i think i've finally realized what the problem has been all along. i think that it's my fault; that maybe i waited too long. maybe it was because i was scared, or maybe it was because i wasn't sure what you would say.

maybe there is no solution. but i think there is. but to say it here, well that would just be one of those "horrible" thoughts.

do you ever contradict yourself?
do you ever feel guilty?
well now i know you do


i guess i'll just have to deal with the fact that things won't go my way. i know you told me i'm a good friend, and that i said the same to you.

it's just funny that you disagreed with me.
now i see why.

i have a funny feeling that i might regret posting this. but i guess regret is just another thing that i'm gonna have to learn to live with. my the "list is bending up".

songs "on my mind":


Lose It - Cartel
Late Night Television - New Atlantic
Black Balloon - Goo Goo Dolls
Such Great Heights (The Postal Service Cover) - Iron & Wine
See the Sun - Black Lab
Wire and Stone - New Atlantic
No Other Way - Jack Johnson
Whatever Gets You Through the Night - Los Lonely Boys
God - Jack's Mannequin
Zero - Hawk Nelson
Caught By The River - The Doves
Overkill - Colin Hay
Have It All - Jeremy Kay
Ghost - Howie Day
All the Memories - The Classic Crime
My Bidness - Kyle Williams

have a listen. i think you'll find them to your liking.


guess what? i'm Driven By Sound. yeah that's not going to make sense to more than half of you. actually most of this isn't going to make sense to most of you. but hey, i guess this is for me. it's nice to do something for yourself once in a while.

i just want to say one thing:
the biggest problem i have is controlling my emotions, as you might have noticed. being this close to someone is nice; at least i have someone to talk to. but at the same time, i find it hard to talk to you. but then again, my emotions aren't going away. and i don't think that letting them go away is a solution.

also:
do what you have to do


p.s. title contradicts the song