Dear.

Okay. So I don't know where I'm going to go with this, but we'll see what happens.

For the longest time, I've wanted to be someone's "go to" guy, the one who everyone just wants to talk to and listen. I've wanted to have something specifically directed at me. I've wanted to be somebody's someone. I've wanted to be somebody I'm not. I've wanted to be somebody I am.

And sometimes, I've just wanted to be somebody.

Sometimes I just wish I could have somebody who I could tell everything too. I've wanted to throw everything out there, and not be judged for it. But there's something that holds me back, something that scares me like nothing else.

I'm scared of losing the people closest to me. I'm scared of losing the few people who I trust.

I think that's what scares me the most about the future. Something about leaving all my highschool friends and moving away, well, it just isn't okay with me. It's taken me nearly four years to establish relationships with people that I don't want to leave it all behind, just to have to start over again. I don't like to think that my life is just one big cycle and every four or so years, it goes "let's do it all over again!" Yeah, I'm not ready for life yet.

I didn't want this to be another post how I'm not ready for my future, so I'm done with that.

Do dreams give some sort of hint towards the future?
Do you remember your dreams?
Do you dream?

I'd like to think that my dreams tell me things. Maybe something about someone, or about my future, or destiny.

Damn. There I go with the future thing again.

Do you believe in destiny?

I know I do. I think there's just too many things that have happened so far in my life for me not to believe in it. Sometimes I've wondered if I've made the right decisions in waiting for destiny to happen. I mean, I've had opportunities that I've either missed or let go, because I felt that something good was bound to happen soon. I sure hope that it pays off.

"You always want what you can't have" So what happens when you do finally get what you can't have? Or does it not work that way?

I hope it works that way. And I hope it works.

The old box full of polaroids sits on my shelf
With the pictures of the first time we took the city by ourselves
And the whole ride home
We played "Konstantine"
And I walked you to your doorstep
And you kissed me in the rain, my lucky day
I still spell konfusion with a "k"

Success Story - Holiday Parade


It's true, I still do spell konfusion with a "k"


You seem so afraid, afraid you'll regret
Regret getting closer and connected to me
And I feel like that too but I'm scared
Scared you'll leave while you feel you can

So I'll just wait and see
So I'll just wait and see and see

Let our eyes say words we'll leave unspoken
When we're trying to be careful
And words can be so confusing
When we're trying to be careful
But not too careful...

Fear, it has its place folded in squares
Squarely tucked in the back pocket of our minds
And yes, it's reckless to act but pointless to decide
Just let your world collide with mine

Let's not wait and see

Let our eyes say words we'll leave unspoken
When we're trying to be careful
And words can be so confusing
When we're trying to be careful
But not too careful...

What's the average number of times people feel this way in a lifetime?
Let's not waste more time

Let our eyes say words we'll leave unspoken
When we're trying to be careful
And words can be so confusing
When we're trying to be careful
But not too careful...

Our Eyes - Teddy Geiger