he wrote this out of spite. he knows that. he can't deny it. he reads it over, what he has written. he deletes it and starts again, but he knows it's all in vain. he's telling himself a story.

he is so lost. he knows no one understand's him, and he knows that no one cares. he wants to start a new life. he wants to start over. he knows that he's just tired, but he doesn't care. he needs to leave it all behind, and escape to a place in his dreams. he has to leave this town behind and never return.

he's writing and the words just keep coming to him.

he tries to explain it to them. he knows it's all in vain. he knows that no one takes him seriously. especially her. he knows that she is the cause of all the problems. he knows that if he had never met her, things would be better. he can hate her, despise her, and detest her. but he knows that without her, he would not be able to go on. he knows that even though he hates, despises, and detests her, he loves her, admires her, and adores her. he thanks God for her.

he never knew God. he thought he did once. he thinks to himself, that nobody really knows God. he knows that others know and believe He exists. but he doesn't. he's having a hard time. he thinks it's because of the other distractions. but he's not going into detail about that now.

he doesn't give a damn anymore. he's writing these words with a sinical smile on his face. he says, here comes the fun part.

he hates himself for everything he does or doesn't do. wrong or right, he hates it. he knows that everything he writes or says, won't matter to anyone else. he's all alone. he knows the walls are closing in on him. he screams out in pain, knowing that it will do no good.

he finishes writing this story. he hopes that maybe, perhaps, and hopefully you'll take him seriously. he's praying for his own safety.

he is a damn fool.

goodnight.

check it!

yep
this is going to be short

so i'm back from camping. it was good. and fun. yep.

"so i didn't join the army, as you might have noticed" and as you might have noticed, things look a little..different.

so check it out and have some fun!

that's it
yep

so i'm leaving for camping tomorrow morning..so you won't be talking to me for a while

and by you..i mean everyone..


goodbye

love you all..in a friend ish way that is..

i've only got one question for all you out there:

if you had one wish, what would it be?

(choose wisely)

write this down
remember every word
you're not the things they told you way back then
you're so much more than ideas in your head
so bury them
and keep them so they can return when you're alone
so that you can fight them in the end

boy, you know i'm sick and tired of healing all your pain
it's time for you to know the truth and cast your cares away

write this down
remember every word
you're not the things they told you way back then
you're so much more than ideas in your head
so bury them
and keep them so they can return when you're alone
so that you can fight them in the end

boy, you know i'm sick and tired of healing all your pain
it's time for you to know the truth and cast your cares away
and i'm so sorry
it took too long to let you know that
it's alright and it's okay
cause they mean nothing anyway

so you say that you're so alone
well loneliness is all we get
get used to it

boy, you know i'm sick and tired of healing all your pain
it's time for you to know the truth and cast your cares away
and i'm so sorry
it took too long to let you know that
it's alright and it's okay
cause they mean nothing anyway

write this down - cartel

this is a call and not just a song

She fooled all of her friends into thinking she's so strong
But she still sleeps with the light on
And she acts like it's all right on, as she smiles again
And her mother lies there sick with cancer
And her friends don't understand her
She's a question without answers
Who feels like falling apart.
She knows, she's so much more than worthless
She needs to find a purpose,
She wonders what she did to deserve this

She's calling out to you
This is a call, this is a call out
Cause everytime I fall down, I reach out to you
And I'm losing all control now
And my hazard signs are all out
I'm asking you to show me what this life is all about

And he tells everyone a story,
Cause he thinks his life is boring
And he fights so you won't ignore him,
Cause that's his biggest fear
And he cries, but you'll rarely see him do it
And he loves but he's scared to use it
So he hides behind the music
Cause he likes it that way
And he knows, he's so much more than worthless
He needs to find the surface
Cause he's starting to get nervous

He's calling out to you
This is a call, this is a call out
Cause everytime I fall down,
I reach out to you
And I'm losing all control now
And my hazard signs are all out
I'm asking you to show me what this life is all about

Have you ever felt this way before
Cause I don't wanna hide here anymore
Take me to a place where nothing's wrong
And thanks for coming, shut the door
And they say some one out there sees us,
Well if you're real, then save me Jesus
Cause I've been this way for far too long
I wasn't meant to feel alone

He's calling out to you
This is a call, this is a call out
Cause everytime I fall down,
I reach out to you
And I'm losing all control now
And my hazard signs are all out
I'm asking you to show me what this life is all about

Show me what this life is all about
Show me what this life is all about

this is a call - thousand foot krutch
.....................................................................................
.....................................................................................
.....................................................................................
.....................................................................................
.....................................................................................
.....okay........enough.........of.........that.......stop!


"Man, I just saw something. I'm glad that you are here.I got to start to thinking, and seeing things so clear"
skies so blue - the rocket summer

with you
everything is blind
with you
everything is clear
with you
everything is fine
with you
everything is tears

"i am not into the idea of living without you"
around the clock - the rocket summer

why do things have to end this way?

tomorrow

how can i live without you
when i can't even live with you
surely you are a fool
cause love is for the lonely

the sun will rise tomorrow
hopefully tomorrow will be better
walk with me tomorrow
hopefully tomorrow will be better

sins are for sinners
but they're not for you
surely you are a fool
cause lying is for the broken

the sun will rise tomorrow
hopefully tomorrow will be better
walk with me tomorrow
hopefully tomorrow will be better

hope is for the hopeless
but you don't need it
surely you are a fool
cause you live in confusion

the sun will rise tomorrow
hopefully tomorrow will be better
walk with me tomorrow
cause hopefully tomorrow will be better

breathe in
and think for a second
exhale
and imagine
dreams are for dreamers
and you want perfection
it's impossible to stop
thinking's a passion

i'm only thinking of you
and when things are through
i'll only be thinking of you

it's killing you
by the second
hold your breath
don't stop
exhale
life's a confusing thing
but thinking's a passion

i'm only thinking of you
and when things are through
i'll only be thinking of you

looking back

i know
that things
are going downhill
used to be good
going against your will
where did it all go wrong
for me and you
at the top
is where we used to be

suicide's not good enough for me
not it's not good enough for me
pulling the trigger won't do no good
cause you is all i need

i can't
wait for you anymore
i'm sitting here
alone on the floor
i wish i could escape from this
escape to a place in my dreams
where nothing goes wrong
where no one's singing this song

suicide's not good enough for me
not it's not good enough for me
pulling the trigger won't do no good
cause you is all i need
cause you is all i need

being stuck at school is fun isn't it



so it's 5:40 and my mom is coming at 6:30..great..



curse all you people with food!

the heart cycle

all i have right now is one thing: the heart cycle

the heart never makes

sense

hope for love is confusion
love is confusion and hope
confusion and hope is love

it doesn't matter what way you

look

at

...it...

all makes sense

...time...

"Time is God's way of keeping everything from happening at once" - Anon

but did you ever think that time..is something that can't be controlled..

that maybe if time didn't exist..we wouldn't all be here..


"Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived" - Captain Jean-Luc Picard

"Time spent with cats is never wasted" - Colette ...i have a cat on my lap

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

"Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save" - Will Rogers

Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won
So I took what's mine by eternal right
Took your soul out into the night
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care
You touched my heart you touched my soul
You changed my life and all my goals
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you
I've kissed your lips and held your head
Shared your dreams and shared your bed
I know you well, I know your smell
I've been addicted to you

Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
You have been the one
You have been the one for me

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile
I've watched you sleeping for a while
I'd be the father of your child
I'd spend a lifetime with you
I know your fears and you know mine
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true
I cannot live without you

Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
You have been the one
You have been the one for me

And I still hold your hand in mine
In mine when I'm asleep
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet

Goodbye my lover
Goodbye my friend
You have been the one
You have been the one for me

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow

musicals

so normally, musicals aren't my thing. but this one was different. don't asked me why. maybe it was the basketball..or the hot gir-i mean nachos. hmm..i'm even stumped.

have fun with this one..i did:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0475293/trailers-screenplay-E26935-10-2

dear journal:

i find that many people don't know i exist, and that when they do notice me they spit at my feet and mock me. i know that some don't do this, and thank you to those few. for you are all saints, angels if i must say. at least i know that when i die, i will always remember that one person who knew who i was, who respected me for who i am, and was, and the person who listened to me when no one else would. to the person who told me everything would be okay even when i, and they, knew who wouldn't. i thank you for that is how i wish you all were. but no, it's the exact opposite. so all you people, i give you one more chance. show me that you don't want to burn in hell and that you won't waste your life away. these are my last words of advice. please listen to me. take heed of your lives

sincerly,

the world traveler


a response:

dear world traveler:

i don't know who you are, but i listened to you. i used to be a person who spit and looked down at those below me. i caused pain to those people, i did it for laughs. i would walk with my friends, beat some one up and walk on laughing with my friends. it made me feel good. then things turned on me. i was hurt so bad that i left the school. i was homed schooled for 2 years. i was scared of them, scared that i was going to get hurt again. then i read your letter. i was touched. i called up those who i hurt. apoligized and hung up. it made me feel better. for that man, i thank you.

sincerly,

torn and hurt


dear torn and hurt:

i'm glad that i at least helped one person. i've had people talk to me saying that i'm suicidal and that i'm an asshole. i don't give a damn what they say. i don't care what anyone says about me. i just hope that i can help the hurting. thanks man.

sincerly,

the world traveler


one final response:

dear world traveler:

last week my son returned back to his old school. as he walked in the front doors, he was grabbed by some bullies, brought into the parking lot, and beaten to death. i know that he was writing to you about some of the problems that he was having, and that you gave him some good advice. thank you for helping my son. if it is not too much, i would like to meet you in person.

sincerly,

till death do us part


dear to death do us part:

the world traveler will not be able to meet you in person. he was killed by the person who used to be his only friend. this is that friend talking. i am so sorry. goodbye.

sincerly,

life is not something to be wasted

things to bring:

Ipod
Sunglasses from the dollar store
Chocolate chips
A rainbow
Best friend
Lightswitch
Therapy
Love
Letters from love
Gum for tarajoy
Baseball hat
Ring
Teddy bear
Heart
Green pen
Plaid rain jacket
Flyfishing wading boots
Christmas tree
Poetry
Paintbrush
Crystal ball
Bunny rabbit
Cartoons
Jack in the box

i'm lost in this life
and now:

i'm finding a way to hate you
i'm finding a way to miss you
i'm finding a way to love you
i'm finding a way to lose you
i'm finding a way to need you

i'm wondering in this life
and now:

i'm finding a way to hope
i'm finding a way to doubt
i'm finding a way to dismiss
i'm finding a way to accept

i'm wandering in this life
and now:

i'm finding a way to find a way

Until We Get Caught

This is not the end
This is just the beginning
And don't you know that everything we want
Is within our reach at fingertips length
We fought nonstop to make these nights our own
Now no one can take them away

Hands in the air (hands in the air)
No one make a sound (no one make a sound)
While you're in despair, we'll have our ears to the ground
Listening for the pulse that just might drive these hearts tonight
And I know we won't make it out alive

We could have had it all
Our backs against the wall
Our eyes blindfolded tight
Living what they call life

(We could) We could have had it all
(Our backs) Our backs against the wall
(Our eyes) Our eyes blindfolded tight

Hands in the air (hands in the air)
No one make a sound (no one make a sound)
While you're in despair, we'll have our ears to the ground
Listening for the pulse that just might drive these hearts tonight
And I know we won't make it out alive

We won't make it out alive
When you burn down these bridges
And you build up these walls
And you tore out these pages
And there's nothing left at all
And when that day comes
And we're all still here
Will you be waiting?
Will you be waiting?

Hands in the air (hands in the air)
No one make a sound (no one make a sound)
While you're in despair, we'll have our ears to the ground
Listening for the pulse that just might drive these hearts tonight
And I know we won't make it out alive
And I know we won't make it out alive
............
...........
..........
.........
........
.......
......
.....
....
...
..
.

this ones to you
only to you
nothing for you
except this for you
this is to you

and by and by and through the years..things you taught me through the years

remembering things can be fun. that is only if it's a good memory. or else your thoughts can totally go down the drain.

"remember to breathe"

so here's to the memories


that was fun




next we have: a traveler's journal

wick ran as fast as he could. he dared not look behind, for fear of stopping to look at what used to be his home
they had come not but a fortnight ago. them and their magics. at first it had seemed like they would only be here for a day or two. but then more and more of them came. that's when we started to get worried.
my father was killed the third day they were here. he died before he could turn around and run. all he wanted to do was take one of their books.
those books contained magic spells. spells of great power,spells of love, and spells of hate. they were created before the turn of the century. before the lord of darkness had taken over.
nobody knew of this island during the great war. it was created for the sole purpose to protect the only remaining books. those books had held information of before the turn of the century. they held histories of cultures and languages that were destroyed during the war. that's what wick's job had been. to learn about those histories, and to teach others so that they could also learn of the peoples who had created this world.
wick dodged a falling rock.
if only i could go back in history to change this, if only
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
that's all folks

they said

she sat in the corner
as tears rolled down
he came to her and asked her
will everything be okay

she told him to go away
with a smile on her face
he wondered what was with her
as he walked away

for it could not be denied

she turned and called to him
as the smile was replaced
he turned to face her
he knew this couldn't wait

she started to stand
as she wiped her tears
he walked toward her
he showed his fear

for it could not be denied

she cleared her throat
as she touched his face
he turned away
he knew this was not the place

she silently wept
as she reached for him
he felt the pain
he knew she felt

for it could not be denied

she hung her head
as she ran away
he turned to speak
he knew she was gone

she ran for miles
as she headed for the beach
he chased after her
he knew it was too late

for it could not be denied

she climed the stairs
as she knew where it was
he screamed at her
he knew it was the end

she opened the drawer
as she held it high
he stared at her silently
he had to stop her

for it could not be denied

she says to him
and the words slip out
he says to her
hold my hand

she says to him
and the tears stream again
he says to her
please don't cry

she says to him
and please don't tell
he says to her
this is hell

she says to him
and this is the end
he says to her
friend

for it could not be denied

she grabs the gun
as she lifts it high
he stares at her eyes
he cries

she pulls the trigger
as she falls down
he screams in pain
he never wanted this
she stares into his lifeless eyes
as she wonders why
she pulls a second time
as he not alone dies

for it would not be denied
for it would not be denied

she became a casualty of society
he never wanted to become a victim of the conformity